Nothing Selfish About Suicide

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-hurley/theres-nothing-selfish-about-suicide_b_5672519.html

I was scrolling through my Face Book page and I came across the above article. It talks about how there is nothing selfish about suicide and I agree.

I am a survivor of suicide.

When I was about 18 or 19, I attempted to take my own life. I had extremely low self-esteem. I was promiscuous to the point where I can’t recall half the names of the men I’ve slept with. I hated myself. I was depressed, but I didn’t know it. And the only way out was suicide. Now, two things saved my life that night. 1 – I didn’t really know what I was doing and 2 – a well timed knock on the bathroom door by my roommate.

I never told anyone about what happened. I kept it to myself and buried it along with my emotions. I didn’t get any help until a few years later. I was living in Ohio at the time. The school I attended offered their students 10 free counseling sessions. I decided to take advantage of this after my doctor officially diagnosed me with depression. After a couple months and some encouragement, I moved back home to Florida.

I went off my anti-depressants for several years, but everything seemed okay. I had good friends and my family and they helped with a problem they didn’t know existed. Then in 2012 things got rough. My mom got sick and I was 500 miles away. My boyfriend (at the time) and I had problems because we were also 500 miles away. In October 2012 we split up for good. I dealt with the holidays because I went to Florida to visit my family. In January when I was alone, things got worse, but I knew what would happen if I didn’t get help. I had already tried once. If I let things go, I likely would’ve tried again. Instead, I got help. I went back on anti-depressants and I went into counseling. I told people I trusted. I told my mom after about a month. For the first time, I talked to people about what was going on with me. And I got better.

My point to all of this is when I thought about suicide, I saw it as a way out. I stopped thinking about my family. I thought they would be better of without me. I believed my life wasn’t worth saving.

We think suicide is selfish because the person decided not to deal with the world or face their problems. It isn’t always that easy. There’s a saying: “The worst thing in life isn’t being alone, it’s being with someone who still makes you feel alone.” People who attempt or commit suicide feel alone no matter how many people they are surrounded by.

According to the article 30,000 people every year commit suicide and 750,000 attempt suicide. This is in the United States alone. I hope we all begin to understand these numbers need to be reduced. We all need help sometimes and it’s time we do something about it.

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