For years we have supported the “No Means NO” policy. I remember hearing about this when I was growing up, especially as I got into my teen years. The idea was for young women and young men to understand that they had the right to say “no” to any sexual advances they did not want. Unfortunately, “no” isn’t so simple any more. Now, rapists are using this policy against their victims. If the victim didn’t verbally say “no” then they wanted it and that just isn’t true. The silent “no” does exist, doesn’t it?
Like me, you are probably saying “yes” it does exist. Just not in the mind of a rapist and sadly that carries beyond the attacker. It carries on to friends, family and yes even juries. It no longer matters if the victim freezes in place and allows the attacker to do what they want. Forget about the fact that they may have frozen out of mere fear for their life. So what if the victim was passed out? And let’s not forget my favorite – the victim doesn’t remember. How can you forget something so traumatic? No one wants to consider the obvious answer: drugs. It happens!
Instead of “No Means NO,” let’s try a new policy. “Yes Means YES.” It takes away the silent “no.” If she/he didn’t say yes, then they didn’t consent. It is just that simple.
Check out this article for more information: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/09/05/opinion/michael-kimmel-and-gloria-steinem-on-consensual-sex-on-campus.html?ref=opinion&_r=2&referrer