For those who are Rocky Horror fans, you understand exactly what I mean. If you don’t, that is okay. I’m going to explain. A few weeks ago, my sister, a friend of ours and I were shopping. My sister saw online that a theatre here in Jacksonville would be showing the Rocky Horror Picture Show. They said they would like to go, I said I had never been. The look on their faces was priceless. You would have thought I just told them I was a virgin. Oh wait, I did. If you have never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show in a theatre or Live you are considered a virgin. And yes you will be tortured (to a degree). That was part of what had kept me from going before because the opportunity has been there, but I had heard so many horror stories (no pun intended) about how they treated virgins. I had decided that wasn’t for me. Now, my sister is not the type of person to let things go. Not to mention I have gotten over my fear of being identified as a virgin. Needless to say, we went. So, last Saturday I lost my virginity at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And it was a blast!
Like many fans, my sister and I dressed in costume. She went as Magenta and I went as Columbia. Unfortunately, my hair didn’t quite turn out red. The red hair color spray wouldn’t stick. My hair is too dark. So I went without. I just wore my hair down. I wore a black lace tank, short black shorts, and black tights. Before we went in I added red fishnet elbow length gloves. Originally I planned to wear a red corset I had purchased over 10 years ago and even though I squeezed into it, I would not have been able to wear it comfortably for the night.
First thing, we get the live version of Brad Majors (asshole) and Janet Weiss (slut) in their underwear freaked out by where they are and an awesome Dr. Frank N. Furter (hotdog). After the Sweet Transvestites from Transexual Transylvania were introduced, they called for all the virgins in the house. I did raise my hand (amongst the many other virgins), but they only selected 10 of the best dressed to go up on stage. I guess I wasn’t dressed or enthusiastic enough to be called. In some way, I’m relieved. They turned Old McDonald Had a Farm into something sexual. OMG! It became Frank N. Furter (Hotdog!) Had a Farm and when you got to the E-I-E-I-oh … the oh turned into your best farm animal orgasm. Of course everyone picked their farm animal ahead of time. In my mind, I picked a horse. That would have been weird. I think the chick who won was a lamb. Go figure. I can say this, it sure was FUN to watch. Especially since one of our friends was one of the virgins up there. I wasn’t the only one in our group. In fact, of the five of us, three were virgins. Lot of fucking virgins.
Regardless, I had a great time. I didn’t know all the lines to say and the props the theatre gave were okay. We all got covered with confetti from throwing it at the weddings. Then there was the toast. And the card of wisdom. Plus the newspaper, but no water guns. Damn. Or light! We had to cheat and use the light from our phones. I feel like I’m missing something … oh yeah, the noisemaker! Those were cheap so they didn’t work all that well. My sister complained hers was broken. But truthfully there were a few things that made this experience great! Good company, THE TIME WARP (Let’s do the Time Warp again!/ It’s just a jump to the left/ Then a step to the right/ And put your hands on your hips/ Pull your knees in tight/ And its the pelvic thrust/ That really drives them insane), and the guy who yelled out as many funny lines as he could. If you have never gone, I suggest you go, dress up, and just have fun. Next time, I’m dressing as Dr. Frank N Furter (even though he dies).